Adversity doesn’t build character, it reveals it.
Words delivered with perfect timing can last a lifetime. Similar to dining, most people will leave remembering the experience. The tone, delivery, and body language set the table, while words are the dish. Combining these elements, before you know it, you’re in the midst of a conversation.
The original author who coined this quote was James Lane Allen. However, I credit my friend, Cal. I don’t remember the context of our conversation, but I do remember the instant wave of motivation that filled my spirit when he sat up, looked me in my eyes with certainty in his voice, and said that statement.
Quote #4 | Adversity doesn’t build character, it reveals it.
Being able to carry on is always easier in theory than in actuality. As new layers of adulthood unravel in my life with each passing milestone, I can’t help but reflect.
Unknown to me, as you grow older, you gradually begin to see your parents more as people and not as imaginative problem-solving superheroes most of us admired as children. Ironically, this humanization of my mother allowed me to realize she is stronger than any superhero (figuratively speaking).
Beyond the lust for carving superhuman abilities, most of us idolize superheroes because they never hesitate to answer the call. They are unafraid in the face of danger and handle hardships gracefully.
In the fictional world, those calamities could be villains attacking a city, aliens attempting to invade earth, or a big purple guy pursuing intergalactic genocide.
In the non-fictional world, we dwell in, some instances can/have reached that extreme to be perceived as fictitious. There are countless examples throughout history. In many cases, the struggles we face come from life’s curve balls. These sometimes 100 miles an-hour twisting obstacles are combinations of mental, financial, and physical setbacks that strike you out.
In 2005, I was in the third grade. My life consisted of school and spending the weekends playing Xbox games, riding bikes, and playing on different playgrounds with my best friend, Anthony. At this time, we were living at my grandmother’s house. It was me, my brother, my mother, my uncle, and my grandmother.
Backtracking about a decade, my mother recently moved back from Florida a year or so before I was born. She was ready to come home, and her mother needed help taking care of her father. This is the first call she answered of many.
Skipping past the story of my parents' meeting and then eventually going their separate ways and co-parenting. Around 2003, my grandmother was the one who needed help. Without hesitation, my mother moved in with my brother and me to be able to take care of her mom.
Fast forward to October 2005, I was in school. I can’t remember which class I was in, but I remember being called to the office. In those days, you would love to hear over the intercom in your classroom the following words, “Mrs.(teacher name), please have (student) pack his/her things and come down to the office their (usually Mom/Dad) is here to pick them up.” That was best! You were leaving school early, and all your friends knew it.
This day was different. My mother wasn’t the one who picked me up. Her friend, Ms. Christine, picked me up that day. Initially, I was still stoked I was leaving school early. Not until we made a left to drive down the lane that led to my house did that feeling fade.
First, I saw a firetruck. Next was my family standing together. Last was a dilapidated, fire-ash-covered structure in the place where my house once stood. Moments later, I was told my grandmother was suffocated by the smoke and her body engulfed by the flames.
The next call my mother answered was for her sons. I can’t speak for my brother, but the strength my mother showed still amazes me. Though she was grieving, she flawlessly maintained our quality of life. As a child, I only faced the reality of losing my grandmother. Even though all our possessions were lost in the fire, I did not feel the damage of losing everything.
How she cared for us and navigated us through that adversity was vital. Looking back, I am not certain, but if other children were in that similar situation without a superhero (like my mother) to guild them. The results would not be positive. I judge this based on how my peers carry their childhood traumas into adulthood and how that influences their decision-making.
I aspire to answer the call akin to how my mother has and continues to. Whenever life presents difficulty, her character reveals a hidden superhero.
To my nephew,
Never be afraid of adversity, for it is in those moments our family has risen. Your grandmother is one example, and your fifth great-grandfather is another. He was born a slave. Yet died, a civil war veteran, Church founder, Church trustee, and Sumner Hall founding father.
